The other day I was strolling around the enclosure when I saw a tresspasser climbing over the wall. For a moment I thought I might have had something to worry about but then I realised that he was less climbing and more falling over - he'd been electrocuted and their several razor-sharp spikes from atop the wall embedded in his chest.
What little that remained of him after he was pulled out of the Horda pit was fed to my pet Audrey II.
Security breaches are an all too common occurence nowadays. As the fame of my Garden spreads, so too does the number of wierdos who feel the need to try and liberate some of my less successful experiments.
Have these people not seen 28 Days Later? Don't they know that if they succeed it could mean the END OF CIVILISATION AS WE KNOW IT? I've got things brewing in a bucket down by the back fence that make the bubonic plague look like a case of the measles.
However, I recently had a Intruderlator 10000 installed (a custom job straight from SkyNet labs) which now oversees all my security needs. It slices, it dices, it mashes and minces. As you can imagine when I'm not using it to turn snoopy neighbours into garden-kill it's real handy in the kitchen.
So as I pass along the ranks of Ripley clones and caged mutant leaders with magnet fetishes I feel safe in the knowledge that there is only one pass to my garden and I'm wearing it. No ones gonna get their hands on this baby, not unless they get past the Manbots first. Heh heh.
I have nothing to fear except fear itself.
Now excuse me, I have to go break up a fight between the Triffids and the Audrey IIIs. And if they wake up Arnold the Krynoid, God help us all.
Sigh
Prof. M
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